Hakuna Matata [by Laura]
I used to be incredibly anal about other people being late. I was always the one who was not only on time, but actually early, and without fail, everyone else would aim for "ish". I remember one particular birthday where I sat alone in my reserved table in the pub for half an hour before anyone else showed up!
In the past, a lot of my friends have been from Latin countries - and we all know what their timekeeping culture is like - so I pretty much grew used to waiting. And waiting. And waiting... Also, as a rule, absolutely everyone has a larger social network than I do; so for them, if someone cancels on a plan, it isn't a big deal, because they can always call someone else. Whereas for me, making a plan with someone is always a special occasion, because, let's face it, I spend a whole lot of quality time in my own company.
Living in a given country as a foreigner gives an additional twist to this. It means that you're entering a society that's in its own way already complete. What I mean by that, is that the people, locals, that you will meet and make friends with already have a social circle around them, while you, the foreigner, actually start from a completely empty calendar. As a matter fact, I've learned that in Denmark they have a concept for a 'half-agreement,' which means that something can be agreed on, but - and I don't know the rules for this - it's not an actual agreement. You can probably see how this could cause some misunderstandings.
These days, I've improved drastically. I'm now so used to people cancelling on me that it doesn't bother at all anymore. In fact, I don't plan on plans at all. Plans are something that may happen, not an absolute inevitability. I've realised that it doesn't actually matter if the planned event doesn't happen today, because hey - it's not like I have any plans for any other day either. The biggest step towards being a relaxed person for me came from the realisation that I can actually arrive at the cinema after the pre-feature advertisements have begun, and I'm not even stressed! Whatever social arrangements I attend, I'm usually fashionably late. I hold absolutely no expectations on possible future events. I live a carefree life - if a friend cancels out on me, it doesn't mean that I'm losing out on something. Nope; I'm saving it up for later.
In the past, a lot of my friends have been from Latin countries - and we all know what their timekeeping culture is like - so I pretty much grew used to waiting. And waiting. And waiting... Also, as a rule, absolutely everyone has a larger social network than I do; so for them, if someone cancels on a plan, it isn't a big deal, because they can always call someone else. Whereas for me, making a plan with someone is always a special occasion, because, let's face it, I spend a whole lot of quality time in my own company.
Living in a given country as a foreigner gives an additional twist to this. It means that you're entering a society that's in its own way already complete. What I mean by that, is that the people, locals, that you will meet and make friends with already have a social circle around them, while you, the foreigner, actually start from a completely empty calendar. As a matter fact, I've learned that in Denmark they have a concept for a 'half-agreement,' which means that something can be agreed on, but - and I don't know the rules for this - it's not an actual agreement. You can probably see how this could cause some misunderstandings.
These days, I've improved drastically. I'm now so used to people cancelling on me that it doesn't bother at all anymore. In fact, I don't plan on plans at all. Plans are something that may happen, not an absolute inevitability. I've realised that it doesn't actually matter if the planned event doesn't happen today, because hey - it's not like I have any plans for any other day either. The biggest step towards being a relaxed person for me came from the realisation that I can actually arrive at the cinema after the pre-feature advertisements have begun, and I'm not even stressed! Whatever social arrangements I attend, I'm usually fashionably late. I hold absolutely no expectations on possible future events. I live a carefree life - if a friend cancels out on me, it doesn't mean that I'm losing out on something. Nope; I'm saving it up for later.
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