Old Fashioned [by Pogo]
I’m a hoarder, I admit it. I find it hard to throw stuff away. Junk that hasn’t done anything except gather dust for years is kept because “it might come in handy one day”. Tomorrow I will finally be getting rid of an old PC case – giving it to a mate. I’ve had it since 1997, and it hasn’t seen regular use for at least the last couple of years. But I couldn’t throw it away. Even when my mate said “have you got an old PC case that you don’t want any more?” I had to think long and hard before reluctantly answering “well, yes, as it happens, I have”.
Of course, I gutted it. I’m keeping the motherboard, poxy old graphics card, microscopic amount of memory (on SIMMs that are incompatible with everything made for at least the last five years). Even the floppy disk drive.
That’s only the tip of the iceberg.
I have a room full of old computers (“could come in handy”). The house is filled with books (“I might read it again one day”). The shed is crammed to the rafters with old tins of paint (“just in case”). The kitchen cupboards are collapsing under the weight of old mugs and jars of seldom-used herbs & spices. The footwear in the cupboard under the stairs would put Imelda Marcos’ collection to shame. I still have an Inspiral Carpets teeshirt from the “Beast Inside” tour (1991).
And it’s best not to mention the contents of the attic.
But at least I’m not as sad as the weaving pillock who was texting himself on the way in to work today. How do I know he was texting himself? Because he had TWO PHONES. One in each hand. There he was, sauntering along, eyes flitting from one screen to the other, thumbs-a-flurry. One phone would beep away da-da-da-daaa-daaa-da-da-da, then the other. Is this how people think, these days? I just witter away to myself in my head. Am I old fashioned?
Of course, I gutted it. I’m keeping the motherboard, poxy old graphics card, microscopic amount of memory (on SIMMs that are incompatible with everything made for at least the last five years). Even the floppy disk drive.
That’s only the tip of the iceberg.
I have a room full of old computers (“could come in handy”). The house is filled with books (“I might read it again one day”). The shed is crammed to the rafters with old tins of paint (“just in case”). The kitchen cupboards are collapsing under the weight of old mugs and jars of seldom-used herbs & spices. The footwear in the cupboard under the stairs would put Imelda Marcos’ collection to shame. I still have an Inspiral Carpets teeshirt from the “Beast Inside” tour (1991).
And it’s best not to mention the contents of the attic.
But at least I’m not as sad as the weaving pillock who was texting himself on the way in to work today. How do I know he was texting himself? Because he had TWO PHONES. One in each hand. There he was, sauntering along, eyes flitting from one screen to the other, thumbs-a-flurry. One phone would beep away da-da-da-daaa-daaa-da-da-da, then the other. Is this how people think, these days? I just witter away to myself in my head. Am I old fashioned?
1 Comments:
I'm with you on that one, Pogo - definitely a hoarder, although I must say that changing country of residence every few years does tend to make a cut into the amount of junk I carry with me. I've already got more stuff than I can afford to move!
Two mobiles... seriously? I admit I use my mobile for everything (camera, e-mail, alarm, calendar, reminder-thingy, oh, and communications of course) but I've never tried to discuss with myself via the thing.
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