Thursday, August 05, 2004

Caveat Emptor* [by pogo]

I just got semi-spammed. Spammed, as in it's unsolicited email containing an offer I can easily refuse. Semi as in the culprit was Apple Computer, and I probably didn't tick the little don't spam me box when I ordered something from their online store recently.

The untempting offer, in exquisite HTML with glinting graphics customary of all things Apple, was entitled£15* Off Your Next Order over £149* or more.

That little * was the killer. Searching the uberglossy I eventually found it hidden away in a tiny font with matching camouflage colouring: * Price and saving are exclusive of VAT and exclusive of delivery of charge.

Dodgy grammar notwithstanding, the * was enough to make me reach for the DELETE button. Things marked with little stars are Not Worth The Effort. Occasionally, the cynic in me needs a breather and it lets my optimistic side take control, but it's always given a thorough I told you so!-ing pretty soon afterwards. At these moments I am usually left wondering does anyone actually bother with these "offers"?

We recently went through all the palaver of re-mortgaging the house. The usual world-weariness crept over me as Tuther first mentioned the idea. It won't be worth the effort in the end, you'll see was the only thing I could think of, but, for the sake of a quiet life I simply nodded half-heartedly and mumbled something about "well, see what you can find then". One financial adviser and several rounds of paperwork and kitchen conversations which included the phrase "hmmm, how can they justify that charge?" later, we're with The Woolwich. Temporarily. Our supposed saving of £50 a month has been whittled away to about half that. Funnily enough, once the paperwork was all but done, we were told that we would need to take out a new insurance policy. With the Woolwich, of course. Then they tried to take two payments from us at once. And of course there was the admin fee. And the cancellation charge. And the We're-Totally-Taking-The-Piss charge. And so on...

I've decided what I'll have inscribed on my headstone:

Here Lies Pogo. He lived life to the full*.

---

Pogo is continually told to shut up by his long-suffering mates down the pub. Always opinionated yet rarely correct, he can't help sticking his oar in no matter what the subject. He has even been known to offer up opinions on The Small Print, about which he is supremely unqualified to speak.

1 Comments:

Blogger L said...

LOL! Sounds all too familiar* - this is why I avoid taking care of any paperwork at all. Ever.


* Except the bits that don't

9:05 AM  

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